Fire up the Morris Minor by Phil Cooper

Fire up the Morris Minor

by Phil Cooper

This time I’ll begin with railway modelling rather than the real thing. You probably know by now that I love Hornby but I know that’s not shared by everybody. I think they give good value for money Their support is fantastic and I’ve never been let down. Indeed they’ve repaired my equipment (a Hornby Select controller) without any fuss and I like their equipment locos, rolling stock, accessories, electrickery, etc. They aren’t toys. They ARE wonderfully precise pieces of engineering. Their one biggest problem is, I think, their supply chain and I know several shop-keepers are pulling their hair out trying to get supplies but the major part of that chain is based in China. I’m sure Simon Kohler and his Hornby team would love to have British-based suppliers but it would just be far too expensive and high prices would be passed on to their customers, i.e. me and you. Of course as Inflation increases so do prices. But Hornby have begun a new line of equipment to help us. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Hornby Railroad.

RailRoad is a less detailed more affordable collection of products suitable for all but is more focused on those with a smaller budget, just starting out or wish to practise their weathering and detailing skills. The majority are DCC ready and are designed without pieces that are easily damaged.

Despite my love for diesels as against steam I bought the Railroad version of the fantastic “Flying Scotsman” (with sound). It is magnificent and even I can see why so many of you love the steam era. My brother in Australia is always begging me for videos of my Flying Scotsman. Although I’m not totally convinced about steam – too many milk churns and Morris Minor police cars -Why on Earth were our police forces supplied with Morris Minors! You won’t see the Sweeney in a Morris MInor chasing blaggers driving a Jaguar Mk 10.

I can’t see Philip Glenister as Gene Hunt ever saying “Fire up the Morris Minor”

As usual I digress so back to Hornby Railroad. There are some splendid package deals available. First up is their Staycation Express Train Pack. The price is £369.95 but look what you get. The diesel is a Class 47 (WITH SOUND) a second Class 47 (no sound) and 5 coaches. Buying them individually that would cost you well  over £400 but buying online it will cost £369.95. That’s an eBay type price but these are all new and they really do “run well”! Go to hornby.com and get yours now. It’s perfect for somebody new to the hobby  as it gets you straight into DCC running and gives you a starter of 2 locomotives and coaches. I think it’s great value.

If you’re wondering about the wee white dog on Galloway Princess, it denotes that the loco is based at Eastfield Traction Maintenance Depot (see below)

In my world I am always on the lookout for Inverness TMD-based locos. Their locos have the wonderful stag antlers logo.I worked there in the Summer of 1973 washing coaches-very tiring work but I worked with a great gang who christened me “Son of Slash” or “SOS”or “Sauce”  “Slash” was my dad’s nickname. I’ll leave it with you to work out! Suffice to say, I’m very proud to be my dad’s son.

The sign of Highland quality

As well as the Staycation Express bundle they are also selling the Playtrains Starter bundle which will save you about £20.

The only one I am not happy about is the “Railway Building” bundle which costs £149.95.  Hornby describe it as “ A mystery selection of buildings from shops to town houses, railways buildings to country outhouses, plus a variety of other potential building options”. I think they’ve gone a bit wrong with this one. At that price I would prefer to know exactly  what I was getting for my £150. The last thing I want is a “mystery”.

For you “steamies” there is the “Valley Drifter” bundle. It is described as “the perfect introduction to the wonderful hobby of model railways or a great way to move up to your first serious train set.”. This one will save you about £50. It includes a 0-4-0 locomotive, a midimat, a good amount of track, a 4 wheel coach, a tank wagon and a refrigerator van.

Not one of their bundles but Hornby have definitely joined the 21st century with their iTraveller 6000 set. With this little miracle you don’t need wires plugged into your track. In fact you don’t need any wires because it is controlled by an App on your mobile phone. This is interesting to me because about a year ago on another blog I featured an online chat with Simon Kohler and I asked him if Hornby were looking at new ways of controlling locos such as WiFi. Being a good businessman he gave nothing away and I think he was well ahead of all of  us with the introduction of “new technology”.

All you need

I also suggested that Hornby should look at producing the Class68 locomotive in Transpennine livery. I’ve heard nothing. Yet! At the moment it is produced by Dapol and it is good but I think Hornby could do it much better.

Now, as you’ve all behaved yourselves I’m going to give you a treat. I’ve got more photos from David Styles. I find these inspirational.You can see that David is a brilliant model maker and his scenery is very very good. Although I have no skill for scenery building, I do enjoy it and it’s good to see that even my results are “pretty” good. I began my scenery using Plastercloth until I discovered Sculptamode which is not as messy as Plastercloth, and for me, easier to use. You can make your own easy enough.

Have a look at this Youtube video: www.youtube.com/watch?v=eail7eqdzxk

I’ve also discovered that little sprogs like using Sculptamode

The following photos show the model railway I’d love to have but I have 2 problems. I have no modelling skills at all and I don’t have enough space but when I began my project this was what I saw in my mind and I’m sure lots of you feel the same way too. So let’s get to the photos.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Mister David Styles.

I would sell my soul to the devil to have David’s skills. Next time I’ll have more of Sean Selley-West’s equally impressive photos. I toyed with the idea of a reader’s vote but that would devalue these guy’s incredible skills. It’s not a competition for them. They do it because they love it and even in my little world where I love model railways but don’t have any of the skills of Sean or David. However, I try and that’s the whole point of building a model railway project even if you have a helper like the simple-minded JImbo or Heaven help me, Harrison. Luckily for me it will soon be school holidays and I will have Timeo, my top assistant in to help me.

I’ve had a few bad days at my board when nothing works.  For the difficult problems I visit the Hornby Forum and Facebook. Sometimes it’s best just to leave the problem and return to it after a good night’s sleep. It’s amazing how many problems resolve themselves as we speak. I’m beginning to think that my “little people” waiting on platforms, etc get together and sort the problem for me. Anyway, here’s a few problems I’ve faced and how I solved them.

In last month’s hilarious blog I said that I would give you the lowdown on “NannyBarb” who I mentioned in an earlier blog. I think it’s fair to say that my partner, NannyBarb” is NOT a train lover nor a model train lover. In fact, whenever I buy a locomotive from eBay I have to ask the seller NOT to send an invoice with the item I’ve bought. I tell her that everything I buy costs £70!

Because I’m diabetic she bans me from buying chocolate – I love chocolate. Cadburys are my favourite and I have to smuggle them into the house. My good friend, Jimbo, accepted delivery of one chocolate order and smuggled it in past her but was so stressed he won’t repeat the operation despite me giving him very exact instructions on what to do. But the pressure got to him. Now he simply won’t do it. He has tried to cover up his cowardice by saying he doesn’t want to go against NannyBarb’s decisions. He’s a coward. But I love him anyway because (Ed comment – don’t do it) since my stroke (Ed comment – Aaargghhhhh) he takes me to hospital in Canterbury for my various tests and check-ups. And even though he is simple-minded he’s a great help. Yes, obviously he is reading this. I’ll tell you more about him in the next blog-stop trembling JImbo. He can be rather bad, though as just to tease me, he deliberately passes a MacDonald’s Drive-through when they are serving their wonderful double sausage McMuffins and their excellent coffee. I plead with him and NannyBarb to enter the drive-through (NannyBarb comes with us to ensure I don’t persuade him to visit MacDonalds). But he just carries on down the dual carriageway to Canterbury.

Speaking of smuggling, not so long ago I bought a Class 37 from eBay. I love the Class 37 locos. But soon after another one was up for sale, and I really wanted it. I should say that they both had soundcards fitted. So, I thought up a scheme to get them both. When the first 37 arrived, I told NannyBarb that I had to send it back to the seller because my grandson, Harrison had dropped it on the floor and it needed repair. I know, I know, I’m a bad man and a bad grandfather but my innocent angelic grandson, Harrison is definitely NOT innocent nor angelic. He is a highly sophisticated torturer who enjoys devouring chocolate eggs while refusing to give them to me. In the trains room he loves to throw small handfuls of ballast on my rapidly balding head and ruin my cameo scenes by placing prehistoric monsters in scenes and even a woman left dying on the platform! Anyway, with NannyBarb’s permission, I sent the unfaulty faulty locomotive back but to the seller of the new 37 and explained my plan to him.

Anyway he then returned the original 37 together with the new one he had sold to me. The package was obviously twice as big as the one I had sent off. I used to be a Customs officer and I always found that the best concealment was one that was in plain view, so I left the package unopened in our living room for a few days. I knew this was a risk and recently NannyBarb has opened any package sent to me since she found one package I declared, contained lighting equipment, actually contained 48 small chocolate cream eggs – it was Easter! But eventually I took the package into the “trains room” where I quietly unpacked the two 37s while listening for any footsteps coming my way. Luckily there were no footsteps and I got them both on the track. The sounds of two 37s on the track is fantastic.

I fully recommend sound-fitted locomotives to you. Sound adds about £100 to the cost of a locomotive although it becomes much cheaper if you have soldering and electrickery skills. I don’t have these skills! So, there I was pleased as punch with my brilliant scheme which had been a total success but although I didn’t yet know it yet I was about to be punished and given away by a 5 year old boy. I started this entire project in the hope that my son, Iain, and his son, Harrison, would take it on after I depart for the Great Signalbox in the Sky. Laura, Iain and Harrison usually visit on weekends and Harrison’s first words are “Grand dad can I see the trains” and he follows me into the train room. Normally I have the trains ready on track and I set them off. I could see that my wee grandson was excited seeing them and hearing them but then disaster struck and my life froze when he shouted out, “NannyBarb, come and see GranddadPhil’s new trains”. NannyBarb came thundering down the hallway into the room and gave me a look as bad as Medusa. I could feel myself crumbling rather than turning into stone as her eyes bore holes in my head but then with a quick harrumpf she departed the room, but I knew I would pay when Laura, Iain and Supergrass went home. And I did! So as not to frighten any of you I won’t describe the 2 hours of Hell I went through later that evening. I suppose this was deserved Karma but now I have to be very careful and have to get NannyBarb’s permission before buying any locomotive or accessory. And chocolate? No way. Since this incident Laura and Iain have given us a second grandson, Nate. I have never seen a baby as happy as Nate. He has a huge smile and is always laughing. I’m sure that he and Harrison are plotting something bad against me.

A few blogs ago I wrote about songs mentioning trains and, being helpful, gave you the Youtube details for each one. This time I’m going to give you some films featuring trains. Unfortunately, trains have small parts in most films but in my favourite train film it is at the centre of the action

And my favourite train film is:  “The Train”.

Go to  www.imdb.com/title/tt0059825/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_5. to read about it and view a trailer. It’s a great film starring Burt Lancaster and Paul Scofield, shot in B&W and all the more atmospheric for it. In this film the railway staff and the trains are the heroes. Lancaster plays reluctant hero, Paul Labiche. I’ve never really liked him as an actor, but he is brilliant in ‘The Train’ with an energetic performance. Actually, as I think about it he’s participated on some other favourite films of mine such as “Local Hero” beautifully set in Scotland, “Go Tell The Spartans” set in Vietnam just as the USA is set to increase their role in that awful war was. For me, though, his best film is “Sweet Smell of Success set in Manhattan where he plays JJ Hunsecker, an unethical columnist who can make or break a showbiz career in 2 inches of newsprint

Another favourite is “Planes, Trains and Automobiles” featuring Steve Martin and John Candy who are both brilliant. If you haven’t seen it, you’ll want to watch it again and again. Many comedy films aren’t funny these days and I barely chortle but this film is painfully hilarious. The train scenes are brief but the scenes inside the motel, the trailer ride where the temperature is “ONE”!, and the car hire scene are especially brilliant. It’s one long laugh. And as usual with Steve Martin, there is a little melodrama to balance the humour.

Go to www.imdb.com/video/vi4026316313/?playlistId=tt0093748&ref_=tt_ov_vi to read about it and see a brief trailer.

Next we have a tv film in 2 parts and available on DVD and Britbox :

“The Great Train Robbery”.   Go to www.imdb.com/title/tt2763296/?ref_=fn_al_tt_6 to read about it and see a trailer.

We all know the story and the film is dominated by the masterful Jim Broadbent. It’s actually quite sympathetic to the robbers who realised, too late, that they had stolen too much money for their own good. Here’s another interesting link with railways as one of the original robbers, Buster Edwards who was released in 1975 could be regularly seen at his flower stall outside Waterloo station. The man obviously loved the railway. He committed suicide in 1994.

Buster Edwards who just had to be near trains!

Not my favourite films but most people seem to love them, the Harry Potter franchise shows the magnificent Glenfinnan viaduct. The films are well documented so here’s a little information about Glenfinnan. It’s a small hamlet in the Western Highlands and is where Prince Charles Edward Stuart (Bonnie Prince Charlie) raised his standard in 1745 to start the Jacobite Rebellion which ended in tragedy in the Battle of Culloden just outside Inverness (where I was born). Culloden also has a famous viaduct.

Culloden Viaduct (29 arches)

Glenfinnan Viaduct (a mere 21 arches but it has THAT curve)

The Jacobite Express steam locomotive is a regular visitor to the viaduct between May and October carrying passengers between Fort William and Mallaig. It is said to be the most beautiful train trip in the world although, in my opinion the run between Inverness and Kyle of Lochalsh is just as good if not better. My dad, a train driver based in Inverness, loved the ride.

 Back to train films. Next up: “North by Northwest”, one of Hitchcock’s great films. Is there anybody over the age of 16 that does not get the metaphor at the end of the film when the train powers into a tunnel. We also get a glimpse of American sleeper trains which look rather plush as does the Restaurant car. It’s good to see that Britain’s sleeper services have upgraded their rooms- some with double beds. BUT they are very expensive. I can still remember my excitement going to London for the first time in a sleeper. Can you guess who had the top bunk?

There is only one choice of actor to play Sherlock Holmes and that’s Basil Rathbone. Forget your Robert Downey and Brendan Cucumber. Basil Rathbone IS Sherlock Holmes.

He stars in: 

“Terror by Night” another great train film.

A bit more subtle than Mr Hitchcock

It’s a simple plot starting in London where a carpenter has completed a coffin which is being transported to Scotland by train that evening, Also on the train is Lady Margaret Carstairs (Mary Forbes), who owns and is transporting the famous Star of Rhodesia diamond. Lady Margaret's son, Roland is also on the train. He has hired Sherlock to protect the diamond; Inspector Lestrade (Dennis Hoey), is also worried about the diamond's safety; and he takes the train too. Sherlock’s”friend”, Dr Watson (the brilliant Nigel Bruce) and his friend Major Duncan-Bleek are also on board. Shortly afterward, Roland is murdered and the diamond is allegedly stolen.    While searching the train, Holmes is pushed out of the train, nearly to his death, but climbs back into the coach and discovers a secret compartment in the coffin carrying Miss Vedder's mother. He suspects that one of the people on the train is the notorious jewel thief Colonel Sebastian Moran”. Naturally Sherlock solves the crime and unmasks Colonel Moran. I won’t spoil the ending for you.

Go to /www.imdb.com/title/tt0039017/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1 for information and to see atrailer.

My next great train film actually features Grand Central Station in New York.

The film is: “Carlito’s Way” starring Al Pacino as a Hispanic gangster. Towards the end of the film Pacino leads us through various parts of the station as he is chased my Mafia hoods. The station is magnificent. Did you know it has 44 platforms and covers 48 acres of prime Manhattan real estate?

Al Pacino on the escalator

For more information go to www.imdb.com/name/nm8459677/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1

The station is beautiful as you can see

It doesn’t feature trains or stations but if you want to see a fantastic film get hold of Blade Runner. The opening scenes as we approach Los Angeles are stunning. This introduction alone is worth buying the Blueray DVD. Perfectly complementing the film is the soundtrack created by Vangelis who also supplied the music for Chariots of Fire, another great film but doesn’t feature any trains although the ferry taking the British team to France could be a Speedlink ferry  (run by British Rail). Vangelis started life as a musician in Greek band, Aphrodite’s Child. They were described as a “progressive band”. If that wasn’t bad enough the band also featured Demis Roussoss as their singer. While Vangelis went on to greatness Demi, the bloke with a very-high pitched voice and an XXXXXL kaftan, went on to Top of The Pops. Here’s a reminder.

Oh dear, he’s wearing flip-flops!!!!

For more information on Blade Runner go to:  www.imdb.com/title/tt0083658/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_52

For more information on Demis Roussos go to Wikipedia.org and don’t ever come back to my blog.

And here’s a bit of trivia for you. Harrison Ford as Rick Deckard and Sean Young who played , love-interest, Rachel absolutely detested each other and another which I was told by an old friend of mine, Jonathan Hodgen (RIP) is that director, Sir Ridley Scott has a “thing” for unicorns (watch the film and you’ll see them a few times.

Rutger Hauer as replicant Roy Batty has one of the many great lines in this masterpiece as he is near termination, “I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time... like tears in rain... Time to die.” And he delivers it perfectly. If you’ve never seen this film, WHAT’s WRONG WITH YOU?

Tango Foxtrot 21, listening, OUT.

PS, There is a new group on Facebook where people can sell and buy model trains and accessories. It’s called FacebookMarketplace. I’ve just bought a 4 car Class 395 Rapier set. I’ll let you know how it turns out next time. At first this medium seemed to be used by enthusiasts trying to sell their “stuff” and I thought they might be more trustworthy than eBay sellers but it’s gradually being used by businesses and I’ve just bought from a business but it’s been pleasant enough so far.

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The views and opinions expressed within the content are solely the author's and do not reflect the opinions and beliefs of Trackside Signs or its affiliates.