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April Fool by Phil Cooper

1 Apr 2023
April Fool by Phil Cooper

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April Fool

by Phil Cooper

 

 It’s the 1st of April or April Fools Day. When I was in my teens my dad played an April Fool prank on me by waking me up at 3am telling me to get ready for school. It was dark outside and, because, I really am an idiot, he played the same prank for 5 consecutive years!

 

Hidden somewhere in today’s blog there is an obvious joke item. Can you spot it? The answer is at the very end of the blog. Good luck.

 

SIMON KOHLER LOTTERY WINNER

 

At Hornby’s monthly tea break today, Hornby topcat, Simon Kohler announced he is the winner of last Friday’s Euromillions Lottery pocketing £175000000. (£175KK) Mr Kohler, already a multi-millionaire, said. ”I’m not going to change. I’ll be the same Simon you all know and love and I’m going to carry on working.”

 

HORNBY RAIL ADVENTURE

 

Hornby are releasing some terrific Class 43 HSTs. Here’s another one.

 

In a recent blog I said that I scanned websites and magazines for information I thought was good for our readers. This next article was nicked from www.world-of-railways.co.uk which is free to use.

 

For rolling stock variety on a present-era model railway, Howard Smith believes this train pack from the manufacturer is ideal.

 

With a recent shortage of traditional motive power on the national network, Rail Adventure turned to repurposing redundant HST power cars for stock moves. Having spent a lifetime hauling Mk. 3 coaches on the network, 43480 and 43484 (among others owned by the operator) can now be found on stock moves varying from delivery of new units to wagons.

 

Usually found with barrier wagons or translator vehicles in tow – to enable coupling of otherwise incompatible types – this pairing of the power cars can now be purchased in model form thanks to Hornby, using new tooling.

 

Having received a review sample of these new power cars from the manufacturer, here are our thoughts on this new model:

 

What we liked

 

Fitted with the correct oval sprung darkened metal buffers, these power cars in the unmistakable livery really look the part. Wheels treads employ darkened metal too, for better appearance. Other manufacturers with bright wheel treads fitted to non-preserved outline models could take note here.

 

It’s quite incredible how a new livery can make an almost 50-year-old design look fresh. Supplied with the model (as with its newly-released Pullman-liveried example, here) are cosmetic buckeye couplings. This pack also includes air hoses to elevate bufferbeam detail.

 

 What we noticed

Though it can be enjoyed as-is, coupled back-to-back as seen on the railway, this is really a train pack for the modeler because no front couplings are fitted to tow stock. There is, however, a gap in the front bufferbeam into which the cosmetic buckeye can fit.

 

Assuming you’re not a collector and want to haul stock, our advice is to do a little modelling – make this an excuse to create a coupling mechanism of your own to fit to the power cars for best results.

 

A recommended model for the present-day modeller seeking motive power variety on their layout.

 

ROYAL WARRANT

 

Trackside Signs has been awarded a royal warrant. Managing director, James Barraclough, was quick to point out that the company blogger, Phil Cooper is the person who deserves all the plaudits, saying “I happen to know that King Charles, or Chuck as he prefers to be called, is an avid reader of the Trackside blog.

 

His Majesty regularly sends photographs of his own model railway to Phil, always under a false name. So far, he has used the names, Neil Stanley, David Styles, John Batley, Marcus Pick and Sean Selley-West. Apparently, uh, er, Chuck thinks Phil’s sense of humour is as good as “The Goodies”. ***

 

***Tiresome trio  who weren’t as funny as John Cleese but found black puddings hilarious. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that black pudding is a Scottish breakfast delicacy served with baked beans and Andrews Liver Salts.

tracksidesigns.co.uk

 

 

MR & MRS KOHLER

Hornby supremo, Simon Kohler announced that he is to marry his colleague, Montana Hoeren. At a celebratory party to announce Hornby have signed up legendary blogger, Phil (BigBoy) Cooper to add some colour to the Hornby website. He told his somewhat tired and emotional staff, “I’ve been sniffing round Montana for years and she has finally agreed to be my wife.”

 

Blog readers will be overjoyed to hear that Mr and Mrs Kohler will be sharing all their honeymoon photos and videos with us. He continued, “Next week I will be taking delivery of my new Sunseeker Superhawk 55 yacht. I always fancied a sailor.”

 

He continued, “Montana and I will be using the yacht for our honeymoon. We both want lots of children. I think I might buy a new chopper too, a Bell Ranger would be nice” 

 

 The future Mrs Kohler was beaming as her husband explained that during his years at Hornby he fell in love with Millie, Jenny, Susie, Deirdre, Sally, Stephanie, Ron, Bob  and eventually Montana.

 

HORNBY: A MODEL WORLD

Well, Monday nights are now ruined. “The Montana Hoeren Show” has ended its run. For the foreseeable future we only have the occasional thrilling “University Challenge” match to get excited about or the awful ”Just Connect” with Victoria Coren-Mitchell and her weird sense of “humour”.

 

I hate it and not just because NannyBarb beats me; I demonstrate my more classical knowledge in University Challenge by always beating her, usually answering at least 12 of Jeremy’s questions.

 

So, we lose this

And gain this!

 

 

DAPOL CLASS 66 “N” GAUGE

 

Dapol has launched its third 'next generation' diesel locomotive for N gauge at the London Festival of Railway Modelling this weekend. The model promises an entirely re-designed chassis, electronics and a newly tooled body. The manufacturer has said that models will also be sound capable.

 

Nine liveries spanning the eras of the Class are promised in its first batch of models, with the locomotives expected to arrive with stockists in Q2, 2024. RRPs are expected to be £172.80 for DCC Ready, £205.20 for DCC fitted and £291.60 for DCC sound fitted.

 

Speaking about the new model, Dapol's Neil Morrlle said: "This model will incorporate our new iron-cored five-pole motor offering excellent slow running and exceptional pulling power with reliability and robustness."

 

Models are said to have the following specification:

 

  • Smooth running five-pole next generation motor
  • All-wheel pick-up
  • All-wheel drive via re-worked 'smooth drive' low maintenance mechanism.
  • Die-cast chassis.
  • DCC sound ready, Next-18 decoder socket (recommended six function decoder)
  • Independent directional front/rear main lighting control – day and night lighting with four light clusters being modelled.
  • Independent directional front/rear cab lighting control
  • Main lamp and cab lighting override switches for DC users (independent front/rear control)
  • Two cab window designs modelled.
  • Removable self-centring close coupling mechanism with NEM pockets
  • Standard NEM fitting N gauge couplers
  • RP 25 wheels
  • Newly tooled detailed body and fittings
  • Accessory bag with etched nameplates and detailed buffer beam fittings
  • Clip-fit body for easier DCC fitting.
  • All factory fitted DCC locomotives will be fitted with Dapol’s new Imperium Next 18 decoder.

 

 

Liveries promised are as follows:

(2D-066-001) 66001 DB Red

(2D-066-002) 66096 EWS

(2D-066-003) 66531 Freightliner Original

(2D-066-004) 66528 Freightliner Powerhaul Madge Elliott MBE - Borders Railway Opening 2015

 

(2D-066-005) 66706 GBRf Nene Valley

(2D-006-006) 66734 Jubilee Pink Platinum Jubilee

(2D-066-007) 66779 BR Lined Green Evening Star

(2D-066-008) 66428 DRS Plain Blue Carlisle Eden Mind

(2D-066-009) 66846 Colas Rail

 

The Class 66 is a type of Co-Co heavy freight locomotive and was originally ordered by EWS to replace and update the freight fleet post privatisation in 1996. 250 Class 66s were ordered from General Motors Electromotive Division (EMD) and these were built in London, Ontario, Canada. Subsequent freight operators, Freightliner, GB Railfreight and Direct Rail Services (DRS) also ordered batches of these locomotives. Overall, the locomotive has been successful in service, offering improved reliability and performance over its predecessors.

 

However, the locomotive has also had its critics, partly due to the comfort the design offered drivers and staff and probably their ubiquity, ousting many different types of British built locomotives commonly seen prior to its commissioning. As a testament to the commercial success of the Class 66, it has been certified for use in many European countries (known as the Series 66) and can be seen commonly in Germany, Poland and Sweden amongst others. During its long service, the locomotive has been modified many times including low emission variants for greener running and highly geared models for hauling heavier loads albeit at slower speeds. The Class 66 is still in operation and is used by DB, GBRf, Freightliner, DRS and Colas Rail.

 

MODELLER’S PHOTOS

My first Deltic

Scottish, of course

Spot Jimbo’s mistake- he’s Oirish

Neil Stanley Ltd brilliant Floodlight

Can you spot items that shouldn’t be in the photo?

And this one

And yet again

Yep, this one too

DCC Concepts lights – the buildings with no light have Just Plug lights!!!

Legacy lights and Neil Stanley Ltd lights

Legacy Lights

My nephew Paul visited this place in Australia

My first attempt at weathering?

No. this was a battered old loco at Coolgardie

 

 

DCC CONCEPTS

DCCconcepts weathering pigments are ultra-finely ground concentrated pigments, not powdered chalks as with many brands. (They are strong enough to tint paint!).

 

This is especially true of our whites and greys, which are based on sub 1-micron titanium which has been pre-coated to increase adhesion.

 

Use all our pigments with care, they are strong!

 

Because they are very concentrated, they will cover extremely well, so we suggest that you take a little of the selected colour with a brush then tap on paper to remove much of it before applying the pigment to your rolling stock, loco or buildings, building up the colour a little at a time, rather like nature does.

 

Remember, the final look should always reflect the results of natural weathering… so while rust and muck can appear anywhere, its often influenced by rain, wind and weather, and of course the effect of gravity means that with very few exceptions, streaking should always be vertical.

 

Work from a photo reference whenever possible.

 

There are several easy ways to use these pigments – experiment with all… and by all means, invent your own methods.

 

DRY: Apply to a matt painted model with a brush or cotton bud using NO dampness or clear coat over the top (clear coats destroy texture difference, which is one of the important subtle effects of pigment weathering).

 

OVER A DILUTED CLEAR COAT: Spray the model with a very diluted clear varnish or similar before adding pigments. Apply pigments while still tacky. Be VERY careful as the pigments will grip really well. They can be modified and moved about with a cotton bud or brush dipped in thinners. We recommend you do this only after practicing “dry”.

 

WET: Mix a little pigment into a mix of IPA (Alcohol) and water diluted at appox 50:50. Apply with a brush and work in with the Q-tips or brush provided.
Remember the direction gravity works when doing this – any obvious “strokes” should be vertical.

 

DCC Concepts Weathering Video

Weathering Set – Super Value Pack

Price: £29.95Inc.

The DCCconcepts Weathering Set – Super Value Pack contains ALL of the powders from our Weathering Set range.

Pack contents:
Pure White
Pale Grey
Mid Grey
Sandstone
Yellow Clay
Brake Dust
Red Rust
Rich Old Rust
Brown Rust
Moss / Verdigris / Mould
Terracotta
Black

 

The pack also contains a set of brushes for applying the powders and an advice card.

 

The packaging has been carefully designed so that once you have removed the pots, it can be used like an artist’s palette for mixing your coloured powders to tailor them to your specific needs – the possibilities are endless!

 

Weathering Set - Super Value Pack quantity

Bottom of Form

SKU: DCW-SVP

Weathering Set – Locos and Wagons

Price: £12.95Inc.

Weathering Set: Locos and Wagons.

 

This pack contains all the colours you’d find most useful when weathering wagons and locos. From creating rust areas to general grime you’d find on a well used Wagon.

 

Weathering Set - Locos and Wagons quantity

Bottom of Form

SKU: DCW-LRD

Weathering Set – Track and Environs

 

Price: £12.95Inc.

 

Weathering Set Track and Environs.

 

This pack contains all the colours you’d find most useful to weather the track and surrounding areas

 

Weathering Set - Track and Environs quantity

 

Bottom of Form

SKU: DCW-TR

 

DCC CONCEPTS CLEARANCE SALE

 

www.dccconcepts.com/product-category/specialised-model-accessories/stock-clearance/

 

Here are just some of the items available in their Clearance Sale

 

Zen Series Stay Alive Standard Slimline (SINGLE)

Price: £9.95£3.34Inc.

Zen Series Stay Alive Standard Slimline (Single)

 

Zen standard slimline stay-alive for brown-out protection to give stutter-free performance.

 

Installation is easy – just match the blue and black wires to the blue and black stay-alive wires already attached to your Zen decoder. Supplied unpacked and without instructions. Perfect for OEM installation.

 

(Please note – Yes, The Zen stay-alive will work with other brands which have stay-alive connections provided, and they could of course also be connected to other brands, however because it requires soldering to the decoder PCB in many cases, and we cannot know your level of soldering skill, we cannot advise connection points for other decoder brands).

 

Zen Series Stay Alive Standard Slimline (SINGLE) quantity

 

Bottom of Form

SKU: DCD-ZNSA1

 

Cobalt SPDT Switches Assorted LEDs (w/Chrome Mountings)

Price: £16.95£4.95Inc.

Cobalt SPDT Switches Assorted LEDs (w/Chrome Mountings)

 

Six SPDT (Single Pole Double Throw) switches to be used with the Cobalt PSU-2 power supply to simplify wiring and control of Cobalt Classic, Cobalt Classic Ω and Cobalt iP Analog point motors.

 

The pack also includes a wide assortment of LEDs, including red and green chrome bezel mounted LEDs, to give a very professional look to your control panel. (Usable and highly recommended for all Cobalt Classic, Cobalt Classic Ω or Cobalt iP Analog motors when PSU-2 is also used.)

 

Bottom of Form

SKU: DCP-CMS-SP

 

Weight Mate DCC install aid (Adds weight while testing)

Price: £12.95£7.95Inc.

 

We often need to check loco performance because the electrical pickups are not great. Temporarily adding some extra weight is a huge help, making Weight Mate a very useful aid for anyone who works on their locomotives.

 

Weight Mate is a soft, mouldable fabric bag filled with lead shot that can be placed on top of most N scale or larger locos to see if adding weight will help OR to greatly improve pickup while using your DCC programming track.

 

It is safe and simple to use as it will not fall off or damage fine detail.

 

Still not sure? It is also a “Win-Win” purchase, because if you find that you do not use it often enough after purchase, it contains enough fine lead shot to add significant weight to many of your locomotives… and the small but heavy pellets will fit easily in hard-to-get-to places.

 

(Of course, we do also sell fine lead shot in 500 gram bags. Look for DCT-LLD)

 

Weight Mate DCC install aid (Adds weight while testing) quantity

 

Add to basket

Bottom of Form

SKU: DCT-WMT

 

PowerBase Starter Kit OO/HO Scale

 

Ed Comments -This is brilliant

Price: £19.95Inc.

 

PowerBase Starter Kit OO/HO Scale

 

For OO/HO and larger scales. Contains approx. 2.5 Metres of PowerBase Centipede Plates, 6 magnets and 6+ housings, plus pan head screws to assist magnet mounting. (enough for 2-3 4mm scale locomotives).

 

Click to view the rest of our PowerBase range.

 

Bottom of Form

SKU: DCX-PBkit

 

Jumbo Track Cleaner (Aluminium Oxide in Pure Rubber)

Price: £12.95Inc.

 

Jumbo Track Cleaner (Aluminium Oxide in Pure Rubber)

 

Its not only HUGE (big enough for double track and more than 8x the cleaning area or otherbrands) – It is also the very best manual track cleaner available by a country mile – the pure rubber means it can be simply washed clean AND that it will also tolerate solvents if needed. The use of Aluminium oxide instead of garnet means that unlike other cleaners, it polishes rather than scratches the rail, minimising the need for future cleaning. We like it like it is, but by all means cut it into several separate blocks if you wish.

 

Bottom of Form

SKU: DCT-TCB

 

Fine Sprue Cutter

Price: £11.95Inc.

 

Fine Sprue Cutter

 

Exclusive to us! We had these sprue cutters made for us, and our brief to the manufacturer was to make them the best available. They succeeded and they are as good as it gets. – So good in fact that we guarantee them for a full year providing they are used only on the materials they were designed for, plastic, and alloys such as copper, brass and nickel silver. Perfect for fine wiring work, flush cutting component leads, trimming parts from brass etchings and many other precision workbench tasks.

 

Bottom of Form

SKU: DCT-FSC

 

High Quality Power Bus Strippers

Price: £25.95Inc.

DCCconcepts heavy duty BUS wire strippers are the best time saver ever!

 

Save HOURS when installing the main power bus and if you plan well you can also do it with NO need for cuts and breaks in it at all with this really high quality tool.

Machined high quality alloy steel jaws strip all types of cable from AWG 10-24 gauge (0.13 -6.0mm).

 

The excellent and consistent stripping action will allow you to neatly pull back insulation for soldering at each dropper point without having to fiddle with blades or cut the cable. For a very high efficiency approach, use our ‘bus terminal strips’ as per our instructions and you can simply slot the cable into the terminal strip eye and have a convenient connection point for droppers as well!

 

Bottom of Form

SKU: DCT-BWS

 

‘Controller Caddy’ Universal Handset Holder (10 Pack)

Price: £59.95Inc.

‘Controller Caddy’ Universal Handset Holder (10 Pack)

 

The “Controller Caddy” is a universal controller holder for smart phones and all NCE, Digitrax, Lenz, MRC, Gaugemaster and similar design handsets.

 

Bottom of Form

SKU: DCC-CC10

 

12V DC, 3A (UK) Super-high reliability power supply for DC/DCC systems – 2.5mm DC plug

 

Price: £24.95Inc.

Power supply quality is really important, particularly with Digital products, so we are really pleased to offer these exceptional 12v, 3 amp power supplies.

 

They are designated as “Medical Grade” because of their exceptionally high reliability so you can use them with confidence.

 

Bottom of Form

SKU: DCP-12.3.UK

 

Controller Caddy’ Universal Handset Holder (Single Pack)

 

Price: £6.95Inc.

 

‘Controller Caddy’ Universal Handset Holder (Single Pack)

 

The “Controller Caddy” is a universal controller holder for smart phones and all NCE, Digitrax, Lenz, MRC, Gaugemaster and similar design handsets.

 

Bottom of Form

SKU: DCC-CC1

Price: £6.95Inc.

‘Controller Caddy’ Universal Handset Holder (Single Pack)

 

The “Controller Caddy” is a universal controller holder for smart phones and all NCE, Digitrax, Lenz, MRC, Gaugemaster and similar design handsets.

 

Bottom of Form

SKU: DCC-CC1

 

BACHMANN HORNBY ACCURASCALE

 

The model world was in a state of shock yesterday when BACHMANN, HORNBY & ACCURASCALE announced they were set to merge and the new multi-billion pound organisation would begin to manufacture real, full size locomotives for SNCF (France), RENFE (Spain) and AMTRAK (USA). Hornby’s Simon Kohler said, “I’m very very excited about this venture. I firmly believe that our experience in model railways gives the new organisation the basis for an advanced development plan for our customers.

 

Speaking for Bachmann, managing director, Sigmund Histler (no relation, we think) said, “ve vill take over ze vorld!”

 

While Seamus O’Toole for Accurascale wondered if anybody knew where the local pub was and what time it opened.

 

BOJO RAIL

 

Boris Johnson is to be the new head honcho of GB Rail. He was unveiled as the new boss at a drinks party held in the large waiting room of Euston Station. Former RMT General Secretary, Mick Lynch is to be his second in command. On hearing about the new Bachmann, Hornby, Accurascale merger to build new locomotives Mr Johnson said, “That is the sort of ambitious profit-making business I believe in. GB Rail will do business with them. I foresee a massive order of the new company’s “Rocket 37” loco slated to be ready in January 2029.  Apparently, this new design is a cunning combination of Stephenson’s Rocket and a Class37 diesel locomotive which will run on very cheap wind power now being developed in Scottish universities.

 

SIX MONTH EXTENSION FOR AVANTI WEST COAST

 

The Department for Transport (DfT) has extended Avanti West Coast’s contract for six months following the operator’s improved performance since October 2022.

 

 

Avanti West Coast’s new contract will run until 15 October 2023.

 

In October last year, Avanti was placed on a short-term contract and ordered to develop a recovery plan to improve services on the West Coast Main Line.

 

This initial six-month contract was introduced in response to Avanti’s major operational issues, which caused severe delays and disruptions to passengers.

 

These issues were primarily attributed to a shortage of drivers due to ASLEF union workers simultaneously ceasing to work overtime and rest day hours.

 

Since then, Avanti has recruited over 100 additional drivers and has introduced a recovery timetable that has significantly reduced reliance on overtime working.

 

This change has led to several key improvements:

  • Weekday services have risen to the highest level in over 2 years.
  • Cancellations have been reduced from nearly 25% of service in August 2022 to 4.2% in early March.
  • 90% of trains are now arriving within 15 minutes of the scheduled time.

 

Transport Secretary, Mark Harper said:

 

“The routes Avanti West Coast run are absolutely vital, and I fully understand the frustrations passengers felt at the completely unacceptable services seen last Autumn. Following our intervention, Rail Minister Huw Merriman and I have worked closely with local leaders to put a robust plan in place, which I’m glad to see is working.

 

“However, there is still more work to be done to bring services up to the standards we expect, which is why over this next 6 months further improvements will need to be made by Avanti West Coast.”

 

Over the next six months, Avanti West Coast aims to further improve the reliability of its services, with a focus on weekend services, a further reduction in cancellations, and improvements to passenger information during disruptions.

 

To support the operator’s recovery, the government is negotiating with railway unions to set a mandate that will ensure drivers are available seven days a week, rather than all workers having the option to take Sunday off.

 

In addition to the continued monitoring of Avanti West Coast’s performance, the government is also reviewing the Transpennine Express contract, which expires on 28 May 2023.

 

APRIL FOOL

 

Obviously, it was Modeller’s Photos.

I am not a modeller. I have no skills, but I try!!!!

 

 

 

If you would like to read more blog posts from Phil check back every two weeks or sign up to our newsletter to keep up to date on site news or when the blog posts go live.

The views and opinions expressed within the content are solely the author's and do not reflect the opinions and beliefs of Trackside Signs or its affiliates.